～譯‧ｃｏｆｆｅｅ～

Papa Turtle is telling his son a bed-time story.

烏龜爸爸告訴他兒子一個床邊故事

"Once upon a time, there was a white bunny."

很久很久以前，有一隻白兔子

"Aw, c'mon, Dad," says the boy.

在加拿大居住了15年（1988～2003），難以忘懷這個語言—英文之美

在教授英文之餘，也偶爾作翻譯。

對我而言，兩者都是能讓他人了解這個語言的美麗的方式~

English is a expressive and lively language,and I fell in love with it from the first encounter many many years ago.

而且，我相信人生不要太serious。You can always break away from hectic routine to have a cup of coffee,right？

   A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of the dark forest.  After about 15 minutes of it , the man finally gets up and says,"Damn, I wish I had a flashlight(手電筒)!"

  The woman says," me too,you've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes!"

     A young man walking through a park looked through a park looked  over and saw an old man crying his heart out. The young man approached and asked the old man why he was crying.

     He replied,"my wife is 20 years old and has sex with me every morning when I wake up. Then she brings me breakfast in bed."

     The young man was amazed and asked what the problem was.

     The old man replied,"After breakfast we have sex until noon, when she makes me lunch."

     Again the young man asked what the problem was.

A gay guy walks into a bar and has a drink.  All he ever wanted was a hairy chest.  This guy next to him has hair sticking out of his shirt.

"Hey, man, how did your get such a hairy chest?"

'Well, I take Vaseline(凡士林) and rub it all over my chest every day to make the hair grow."

So the guy goes home, gets the Vaseline out, and starts rubbing it all over his chest.  His boyfriend comes home and says,"What the f***  are you doing?"

He tells him the story from the bar, and his boyfriend says,"If that were true, you'd have a ponytail growing out of your ass by now."

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front mirror, complaining to her husband that her breast are too small.  instead of characteristically(有個性的) telling it's not so ,the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They will grow larger over a period of years." he replies.

The wife stops."Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"worked for your butt, didn't it."

 A little boy walks into sees his parents' bedroom to see his mom on top his dad bouncing up and down.

有一個小男孩走進父母的房間，看到他的媽媽在他的爸爸身上上下晃動...

 The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts,worried about what her son has seen.

媽媽一看到兒子就馬上下來，擔心兒子看到甚麼。

 She dresses quickly and go to find him.  

A woman held a seance in hopes of getting  in touch with her late husband, who, during his life,had been a waiter in a big fancy restaurant.

有一個女人做了觀落陰為了要和她死去的丈夫溝通。

這個男人生前在一個很豪華的餐廳當服務生。

The candles were lit and the room was silent.（觀落陰開始）

蠟燭點燃了，房間很安靜。

Wandering around a fairground, a man enters a fortune-teller's tent for a laugh.

在一個市集閒逛，一個男人走進一個算命攤圖一個笑話。

" I see you're the father of two," says the seer, gazing into her crystal ball.

「我看到你是一個2個孩子的爸。」算命的說，凝視著水晶球。

" Ha! That's what you think," says the man scornfully.

Do you enjoy being tricked or tricking others?

My student told me " April Fool's Day is a fun day because they can always find some new tricks to trick their teachers. I don't mind being tricked by them . nothing is better then to end this day with a few good laughter. By the way, what's the name of Vincent  Van Gogh's uncle who owned a fruit store? I had a good laugh when I heard the answer..........Mango.

cold.......  sorry....

life isn't always a bed of roses, but it certainly gives me a few roses ( colour yellow, I think)

Somehow, I feel blue. The grey sky may be the cause. Even my beloved roses can not lift my spirit. oh, one of those days. when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.Today, lemonade and honey will do